The return of the pain

Sorry for the dearth of posts here lately. Not only have I been incredibly busy for the past few months, but I've also been struggling with some health issues. First I had a nasty cold/respiratory infection/whatever for over a week. As soon as that cleared up, I was struck by a ridiculous flare-up of my rheumatoid arthritis. It started in my jaws and rapidly spread all over the place. It's affecting joints I didn't even know I had, and it's growing progressively worse.

Ordinarily, I do a pretty good job of hiding it when I'm in a lot of pain, but apparently that's not working this time. I ran into one of the attorneys at work in the file room today, and the first thing she said was, "Are you hobbling?" Later, as I passed a girl from accounting in the hallway, she said, "Are you okay?" Dammit. My knees and hips are so sore that I just can't walk normally no matter how hard I try. My right shoulder is so sore that my arm gets stuck out at an awkward angle when I walk. It must look like I'm lurching around like a zombie from Dawn of the Dead. My hands are so sore that I couldn't turn on the cold water faucet in the shower this morning.

I'm pretty sure this is due to the fact that I stopped taking the methotrexate back in November. My rheumatologist told me I could stay off of it as long as I stayed on the Enbrel and as long as my condition didn't start to deteriorate. I'm afraid if I go to see him in this condition, he'll put me right back on it. I don't want to get back on it. My next scheduled appointment with him isn't til September. I'm going to try to hold out for awhile and see if things improve in the meantime.