What is up with that?
(Note: I've already emailed this story to a few people and posted it on my poor, neglected myspace blog, so if you've seen it before -- well, bear with me. I really do want to know what's up with that.)
As I was walking across the street from my office to Starbucks this afternoon, I heard someone whistle at me. At least, I assumed (correctly, as it turned out) that it was directed at me since there was no one else in the crosswalk, and I did look pretty good today if I do say so myself. God bless the pencil skirt.
Anyway, that was fine. It made me smile and feel like, "Hey, I do look good today, don't I?"
Then I got to the other side of the street and started walking past the bus stop on that corner, which consists of several benches that each had a couple of people on them at the time. As I passed the third bench, this guy said, in what I am guessing was his best "hey baby hey baby" voice, "Hellooooooooooooo." I said, "Hi." He said, "Have a nice daaaaaaaaaay." I said, "You, too."
After I'd passed him, he really got going. Dude started yelling as loud as he could, "Woooooohoooooooooo! Damn girl, you look gooooooooooood! Oooooooooow! Yeah! Gotta get me summa that!"
Seriously? What is up with that? What is the point? What was he hoping to accomplish? I mean, the whistle was nice. The yelling was ridiculous. It was so ridiculous that I couldn't stop laughing, yet it made me feel extremely uncomfortable.
So why do guys do that? I know that not all guys do, obviously, but for those who do, why do they do it? Has any woman ever been yelled at like that and gone, "Hey! Now that's a guy I wanna date!" I mean, really. What does the guy get out of it? If it's just a power thing, and the goal is to make the woman feel uncomfortable, well then, congratulations, bus stop man. Mission accomplished.
As I was walking across the street from my office to Starbucks this afternoon, I heard someone whistle at me. At least, I assumed (correctly, as it turned out) that it was directed at me since there was no one else in the crosswalk, and I did look pretty good today if I do say so myself. God bless the pencil skirt.
Anyway, that was fine. It made me smile and feel like, "Hey, I do look good today, don't I?"
Then I got to the other side of the street and started walking past the bus stop on that corner, which consists of several benches that each had a couple of people on them at the time. As I passed the third bench, this guy said, in what I am guessing was his best "hey baby hey baby" voice, "Hellooooooooooooo." I said, "Hi." He said, "Have a nice daaaaaaaaaay." I said, "You, too."
After I'd passed him, he really got going. Dude started yelling as loud as he could, "Woooooohoooooooooo! Damn girl, you look gooooooooooood! Oooooooooow! Yeah! Gotta get me summa that!"
Seriously? What is up with that? What is the point? What was he hoping to accomplish? I mean, the whistle was nice. The yelling was ridiculous. It was so ridiculous that I couldn't stop laughing, yet it made me feel extremely uncomfortable.
So why do guys do that? I know that not all guys do, obviously, but for those who do, why do they do it? Has any woman ever been yelled at like that and gone, "Hey! Now that's a guy I wanna date!" I mean, really. What does the guy get out of it? If it's just a power thing, and the goal is to make the woman feel uncomfortable, well then, congratulations, bus stop man. Mission accomplished.
posted by Catherine at 12:13 AM
2 Comments:
Funny you should mention that a few years ago in Heckmondwike. (home) I was walking through town when two women did exactly the same to me. Boy did I feel violated. Strange or what. Here’s a guy who has boxed for the army. Represented his country at karate and Atemi-jujitsu and I felt raped. How strange. Anyway after that incident I vowed never to do the same to any female.
But back to your question.
Men do so for a multitude of reasons.
1) Power projection.
In a crowd of idiots , the person who speaks out is usually vying for a position of power/respect/domination. Think peacock and its display of feathers.
2) Come on
Yes I know people won’t believe this, but some people actually presume that such a lame chat up line work. Unfortunately for those folks of very low esteem and usually a very low social status. Such a man seems a good catch.
3) Poor Social Skills
I’ve recently become hooked on the American TV series The Big Bang Theory It focuses on a group of university nerds and their inability to interact with normal people. I love it as it is very well written. (Intelligent humour at its best) Any people like the guys portrayed are unable to communicate in an endearing and empathic manner to the opposite sex. So when they do say something it usually comes out in a coarse and in your face manner.
4) Intimidation/emasculation
Should be under 1 but some idiots actually enjoy making people feel small and the fact that they can control peoples emotions gives them a huge mental kick. The most dangerous of the listings, people like this should be given a wide berth.
Usually found in a group of lads/lasses and will resort to violent means in which to elevate their social status in that group.
5) Peer pressure
They may have mentioned to friends that they find you attractive and have been put on the spot in which to say something.
6) Bored
Says it all.
In all of the cases the person doing the talking/shouting is looking for a response. Be it a smile, a frown, no reaction (which actually is). That response validates their call. Unfortunately I cannot give an answer as each incident is different. However the safest option would be to smile and say thank you. The vast majority of people will accept that at face value as a respectful reply. Some will even be put in their place by such a passive disarming technique. However some will try to use such an response as an invitation to enter into your personal zone, but only if you let them.
Hey only my take on things.
Good analysis, Pounce! I think in this particular case, it was actually intended as a come on, which is just mind-boggling. But this guy didn't look too bright or well-educated, and I think he thought he was being cute.
It's funny that you mention feeling violated when those women did the same thing to you. I've heard other men say similar things after having similar experiences. I'm just embarrassed to hear that there are women out there who behave like that.
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