Insomnia

I was feeling very restless and anxious last night, and had a difficult time getting to sleep, for no apparent reason. It didn't hit me until today when I noticed the date. February 9, 2000 was the last day I spoke to my brother Steve. He called me that afternoon to tell me that he wouldn't be able to make it to our Wednesday evening yoga class because he had come down with an ear infection. I was actually a bit relieved that he was canceling on me, because I was really tired that day and didn't feel like going to yoga after work. Don't think that hasn't fucked with me ever since he died. Anyway, it was a brief conversation, since I was at work and he wasn't feeling well. I told him not to worry about it, and told him to be sure to see his doctor ASAP and get some antibiotics, and to feel better soon. Three days later, he was dead.

I can't believe it's been six years since I've heard Steve's voice. Sometimes it seems like it's been just days, and sometimes it seems like it's been forever. I miss him so very, very much.