Kitchen appliances and me
D's latest assignment for me was to list the appliances in my kitchen and state what in my life makes me feel like each appliance's function. Sound confusing? The list below should clear it up for you:
Microwave: What gets me heated up in a hurry? Heated up as in angry, I mean -- Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and other right-wing morons; Michael Moore and other far-left morons are a close second.
Toaster: What makes me toasty warm? A good pair of flannel pajamas and a mug of Ghirardelli hot cocoa.
Faucet: What makes me gush? Cute animals (and they’re pretty much all cute in their own way).
Stovetop: What lights a fire under me? Women’s rights issues.
Oven: What makes me feel thoroughly baked or broiled? The ridiculous Texas summer heat.
Refrigerator: What chills me out? Plenty of time at home with a good book.
Can opener: What makes me flip my lid? Hearing or reading about abuse of children or animals.
Garbage disposal: What makes me feel like ground-up garbage? My job. I hate my job.
Coffee maker: What “percs” me up? A good ride on my stationary bike.
Pasta maker: What makes me feel like a limp noodle? My weekly massage. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Slow cooker: What makes me “stew?” Rude people -- whether they’re rude to me or to others.
Wok: What makes me feel like I’ve been quick-fried? Having to go to work after a night of insomnia.
Blender: What gets me all shook up? Traffic, especially on the way home from work. I feel like my life is in jeopardy the entire way home.
The rule for this assignment was that I have to actually own an appliance in order to include it in the list. I didn't include my dishwasher, because although I own one, I never use it. I wash everything by hand. I guess I could have done "What makes me feel useless?" That didn't sound very appealing, though. :)
Microwave: What gets me heated up in a hurry? Heated up as in angry, I mean -- Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and other right-wing morons; Michael Moore and other far-left morons are a close second.
Toaster: What makes me toasty warm? A good pair of flannel pajamas and a mug of Ghirardelli hot cocoa.
Faucet: What makes me gush? Cute animals (and they’re pretty much all cute in their own way).
Stovetop: What lights a fire under me? Women’s rights issues.
Oven: What makes me feel thoroughly baked or broiled? The ridiculous Texas summer heat.
Refrigerator: What chills me out? Plenty of time at home with a good book.
Can opener: What makes me flip my lid? Hearing or reading about abuse of children or animals.
Garbage disposal: What makes me feel like ground-up garbage? My job. I hate my job.
Coffee maker: What “percs” me up? A good ride on my stationary bike.
Pasta maker: What makes me feel like a limp noodle? My weekly massage. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Slow cooker: What makes me “stew?” Rude people -- whether they’re rude to me or to others.
Wok: What makes me feel like I’ve been quick-fried? Having to go to work after a night of insomnia.
Blender: What gets me all shook up? Traffic, especially on the way home from work. I feel like my life is in jeopardy the entire way home.
The rule for this assignment was that I have to actually own an appliance in order to include it in the list. I didn't include my dishwasher, because although I own one, I never use it. I wash everything by hand. I guess I could have done "What makes me feel useless?" That didn't sound very appealing, though. :)
posted by Catherine at 12:26 AM
3 Comments:
well they were thought out answers!
hope you are feeling better after the fever ...
my internet was cut off for awhile again ... sigh ... can you believe it? 2 times in 2 weeks ... ?
anyway, i am back on - and just surfing around ... :o)
Ooooo, I hate when my internet connection is on the fritz! Is it the weather that keeps knocking yours out? I'm glad it's back, anyway. :)
no, it was just the tekkies with wrong messages on their computers! they keep giving me freebies to compensate the mistakes ... ?
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