Raccoon of Doom

So, I stepped outside onto the front porch last night for a cigarette at about 9 p.m. (That's still going well, by the way. I'm still smoking just two or three per day). As I was standing there, puffing away, I heard some rustling in the driveway. Then, I saw a little raccoon snout poking itself around the corner. I said, "Oh, hi there!" The raccoon plodded around the corner and stood there, facing me, several feet away, like an Old West gunslinger. I said, "Hi, cutie! What are you doing?"

And he hissed at me! A very menacing hiss. This raccoon meant business. So I took a few steps back towards the door, and he started lumbering his fat, round little body towards me! It was like a scene out of a B horror movie! So I took refuge inside.

I think he was just trying to voice his annoyance at the fact that the kitty food dishes on the front porch were empty, so I went back out a few minutes later and filled them with kibble while the raccoon watched from the bushes. The little bully!