Why I'll never be a high-level executive

When executives go to work they carry briefcases full of important papers and fancy pens and stuff. I carry a bag full of chocolate bars and a cardigan.


Because you never know when you'll be cold or hungry at the office.

The magic of vinegar

I have many talents, but keeping a clean house is not one of them. I do keep up with certain things: I sweep the floors daily, I wash my dishes immediately after using them, I scoop the litter boxes three times a day, I keep up with the laundry, I change the bed linens weekly, and I clean out the fridge every Sunday. Trash and recycling are also taken out regularly.

Aside from all that, any cleaning I do is sporadic at best. Years of living with a chain smoker and having as many as 13 (currently ten) pets in the house at one time, plus a chronic illness that for years made it impossible for me to exert myself much physically, plus a tendency toward hoarding, have combined to take a heavy toll on the state of my home. One of my goals for this year is to whip this place into shape because it's become a major source of stress and anxiety for me.

I've done a bit here and there over the past couple of years, replacing some of the flooring and furniture (and I plan to replace more flooring this year) and getting rid of some of the clutter, but I have a long way to go and it's very daunting to think about how much work it's going to be. So I'm not going to think about that or I'll just give up. The only way to tackle it is to take it in small chunks, but to keep the momentum going so that the small chunks will actually add up to something.

So today I decided to try out a cleaning tip from my friend Jessica, who has become very environmentally conscious over the past year since she decided to go vegan. She told me that she doesn't buy cleaning products any more because she doesn't like to use chemicals in her home. She cleans her house (which, by the way, is spotless) with vinegar, water, and baking soda. There's no need to buy a whole array of products -- one for floors, one for mirrors and windows, one for countertops, one for the stovetop, one for the bathroom, etc. Vinegar and baking soda are cheap and effective.

Today I used a bucket of vinegar and water in equal parts to scrub down the kitchen appliances, the kitchen floor, and the door that leads from the kitchen to the laundry room. The appliances are now all shiny and gleaming and the white floor and door are actually white again. Even the crustiest gunk came right off quickly and easily with just a gentle scrubbing. I had to change out the water/vinegar solution a couple of times but used a total of about a half-gallon of vinegar for the entire kitchen. It was WAY cheaper and more effective than an equivalent amount of PineSol or some other cleaning product would have been, and without the harsh smell or the drying effects that such cleansers usually have on my skin. Yes, vinegar does have a strong smell of its own, but it's not nearly as harsh as a chemical cleaning agent and the vinegar smell dissipates quickly as soon as it dries. Oh, and as a bonus, the vinegar also cleaned my diamond rings and made them all sparkly!

So, vinegar, water, a sponge, a scrub brush, and about an hour of my time. That's all it took. And seeing how much better the kitchen looks makes me want to keep going. Tomorrow I'm attacking the dining room. Onward!

Quote of the Day

Steve and me, August 1991

When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time -- the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows, and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes -- when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever -- there comes another day and another specifically missing part.

~John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

Steve, July 1993

Can you find the cat in this video?

It might be tricky. He's very stealthy.

Sad anniversary

Eleven years ago today was the last time I spoke with my brother. Most years, the anniversary of his death doesn't get to me much because I miss him every day. A specific date on the calendar doesn't make it any worse. This year, however, the days of the week are the same, so the memories are stronger.

It was a Wednesday afternoon eleven years ago when Steve called me to tell me that he couldn't make it to our yoga class that evening because he wasn't feeling well. He'd been to see the nurse at work and she told him he had an ear infection, so he'd made an appointment with his doctor. He felt bad about canceling on yoga class and wanted to see if I still wanted to go with Jacquelin. I told him not to worry about it because I was tired and didn't much feel like going anywhere after work, anyway. I told him to take his antibiotics, rest, and feel better. I had no idea that was the last conversation we'd ever have. I wouldn't have gotten off the phone so quickly if I'd known.

I didn't call him the next day because I knew he needed to rest and I didn't want to disturb him. The day after that, I sent him a get well e-card. He never opened it. That evening Jacquelin came home from a funeral to find him incoherent and in terrible pain. He thought he had a migraine. Jacquelin called an ambulance. It wasn't a migraine. It was meningitis. Steve slipped into a coma at the hospital and died just after noon the following day, surrounded by his loved ones.

I so wish I had called him that Thursday or Friday to let him know I was thinking about him and to tell him that I loved him. I hope he knew. I'm sure he knew, but I wish I'd called him anyway. I didn't realize I'd never have another chance to hear his voice.

I miss him so much.

Jennifer, Jacquelin, Steve, and me on Steve and Jacquelin's wedding day, October 24, 1998

Achilles also has feelings about linen spray.

Specifically, he loves it. This is what he does every Sunday after I change the bed linens and spritz them with pretty-smelling linen spray:

Achilles has feelings about the snow

We had a bit of a snow day here in Austin today, and Achilles was less than happy about it. We went out for our morning walk as usual, but just coaxing him out of the driveway was a challenge. Finally, he pulled me across the icy street, peed on a tree, and then decided to cross right back and go home. Not a fan of the snow, apparently. But I did get some video on my phone: