Memorial Day

I read in the news last week that there is a movement trying to get Americans to have a "moment of silence" on Memorial Day to reflect on the actual purpose of this holiday, but for some reason it's not catching on. Apparently, people just cannot be bothered to interrupt their barbecues and pool parties for a mere thirty seconds to pause and honor the men and women who have lost their lives in defense of this nation. I think that is a sad, sad commentary on our national priorities. So, I just thought I'd take a moment to pause and reflect on this Memorial Day and what it means.

In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Look-alike contest

Muslim woman at a suicide bomber gathering in southern Tehran:




The Invisible Man:

Uncle Glenn

I found out a couple of months ago that my Uncle Glenn, my mom's only brother, had liver cancer, and had apparently been ill for some time before letting anyone in the family know. When I first learned this news, I wasn't told any specific details about how sick he was or what his prognosis was. I found out yesterday that he is probably going to die within the month. My cousin says that he looks like a Holocaust victim and is confined to a wheelchair.

My family was spread far and wide when I was growing up, so I never got to see my aunts and uncles very often. Glenn and his family lived in San Jose, California while we were in Hong Kong, then Illinois, then Canada, and then Texas. They came to visit us once when I was too young to remember it, and the next time I saw Glenn was when we went to visit him in California when I was nine years old. That trip has always stuck out in my memory as one of my favorite summer vacations ever. I particulary remember three things about it: Aunt Marge's homemade hot cocoa mix, the earthquake which sent me tumbling down the stairs one morning, and Glenn's valiant efforts to help me get over my fear of water and teach me to swim. I thought he was just the coolest uncle ever.

Aunt Marge died of breast cancer when I was a high school sophomore, and even though geographical circumstances had not afforded me the chance to get to know her well, I was still crushed. Just that one summer trip to visit them in San Jose had given me such fond memories of both Glenn and Marge. The following summer, there was a big family reunion at Mammoth Cave, Kentucky, which Glenn helped to organize and orchestrate. That trip is another one that sticks in my memory as one of my favorite family vacations of all time. I visited Glenn again the summer after I graduated from high school, when I was 17 years old. From that trip, I remember going to watch my cousin Jeff's baseball game one afternoon, and going out to play miniature golf one evening. A year or two later, there was another family reunion at Cripple Creek, Colorado -- another fond vacation memory, and the first time I got to meet Glenn's new wife, Lee, a wonderful woman who has been so good for Glenn.

Glenn and Lee moved to the Dallas area at some point while I was in college, so I did get to see more of them after that, typically on special occasions like Thanksgiving, family weddings, baptisms, or funerals, etc. Glenn was always larger than life -- a big, strapping man with a booming voice, always laughing and joking. It is so difficult for me to imagine him in the state he's in now. Every time I think about it, I burst into tears. I wish I'd gotten to spend more time with him over the years, but I will always treasure the memories of the times we did spend together. He is going to be dearly missed.

Enbrel Injection, Week Three

Okay, the fact that it didn't burn too much last week must have been a fluke, because I didn't do anything differently this week, and it really, really burned, just like the first week. The good news is that the horrible burning, stinging sensation lasts only as long as the injection, so it's not like it's unbearable or anything. The injection site is still very tender this morning, and I had quite a fever last night after the injection, but it seems to be gone now, so I'm not sure if it was related or not. The headache-nausea-dizziness seems to be less severe this week. I've got an appointment with my rheumatologist on Monday so he can see how I'm doing so far back on the Enbrel, so I'll mention all these of side effects to him and find out if there's any way to mitigate them.

My Political Profile

I think this is pretty accurate, although there were several questions for which neither choice appealed to me, so I just had to pick the one that sounded closer to my actual position on the issue.

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 40% Conservative, 60% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Woooohoooooooo! I did it! I did it!

That's right, y'all.

I weighed myself this morning before I stepped into the shower, and it is now official. I have met my goal. I have lost twenty pounds since New Year's! I am down to 118. Woooohoooooooooooooooo!

**happy dance**

My Linguistic Profile

Shockingly normal!

Your Linguistic Profile::

65% General American English

15% Dixie

15% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Now I have to have EYE SURGERY. On BOTH EYES. But they can't do them both on the same day, so I'll have to do this TWICE. The right eye is scheduled for June 20th.

WHY do I have to have eye surgery, you ask? Well, I have previously discussed my bizarre eye issues, which include a condition called pigment dispersion syndrome. When I was initially diagnosed with this shit back in 1999 or 2000, my doctor told me that if the pressures in my eyes got too high, he'd need to do laser surgery to correct it, or I would end up with glaucoma. Well, guess what? I went in for a pressure check this morning, and it's time.

It's funny; I've had all kinds of orthopedic surgeries over the past several years, and they generally don't stress me out much at all. But this is different. For one thing, one slip with that laser, and oops, I'm blind. For another thing, from the info they gave me this morning, it looks like they don't sedate you at all for this procedure -- they just strap you into a chair with a chin-rest and tell you IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU DO NOT MOVE AT ALL. Well, fuck. I can't even stay still for a regular eye exam. It's not that I don't try to. I just can't do it. Anyone gets near my eyes, and they start inadvertently blinking, moving around, watering like little faucets, twitching, you name it. If I can't sit still for an eye exam, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SIT STILL WHILE SOMEONE AIMS A LASER AT MY EYE?? WHY DON'T THEY SEDATE YOU FOR THIS SHIT?? ARE THEY SADISTS??

FUCK!!

Oh, wait! I forgot the best part! This condition is so rare that my doctor (who is one of the most highly regarded eye surgeons in the Austin area) told me he's done only TWO of these surgeries for this particular condition in the past TEN YEARS. Fortunately, he does a similar surgery for a different condition a couple of times per month.

So, my dog is having knee surgery (on BOTH hind legs) on May 30th, AND I need to have another foot surgery in the near future, AND NOW THIS.

**ahem**

So, yeah, I'm a little bit stressed out right now.

**end of rant**

Places I have been

This is kind of cool -- you can create your own map of all the countries you've visited. Here's mine, to date:



create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

Enbrel Injection, Week Two

Okay, I think I can handle a weekly Enbrel injection after all. I did my second one last night, and this time I let the syringe sit out for about twenty minutes to get to room temperature before injecting it. Last week I let it sit out for only about ten minutes, so it was still rather cold when I injected it. Anyway, this time it didn't burn nearly as much going in. It was still uncomfortable, but not nearly as much so as last week.

On the down side, I'm experiencing some side effects that never happened when I was on the twice-weekly dosage a couple of years ago. Last Saturday I woke up with a throbbing headache and felt nauseous and dizzy, but didn't connect it to the Enbrel since I wasn't expecting any side effects. Today, the same thing happened, so I read up on the list of potential side effects, and it does include headache, nausea, and dizziness. My guess is that I'm experiencing these side effects now but didn't before because it's now a 50 mg injection all at once, whereas it used to be 25 mg injections two days apart. I'm hoping that once I've been back on it for awhile, the side effects will stop occurring or will at least be less severe. In any event, it will be worth it if the Enbrel controls the RA enough that I can stop taking the methotrexate.

Schindler's Cat!

What Classic Movie Are You?
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Sunday Lunch

I was supposed to go out to Driftwood yesterday to visit Jacquelin and Alexandria and see Alex's soccer game, but unfortunately, the game was cancelled due to the weather -- severe thunderstorms, hail, flash floods, high winds -- yuck. We settled on meeting for lunch at The Salt Lick today, instead. I'm bummed that I missed seeing Alex play soccer -- I hear it's great fun watching a bunch of four-year-olds in teeny little soccer uniforms swarming the ball! We had a nice time at lunch today, though, and it was great to see them. Alex is just the most adorable little girl, and since I had my trusty new camera with me, I can prove it:



What a sweetheart. :)

Fun with Enbrel

After a few weeks of wrangling with my health insurance company (who doesn't like to pay for Enbrel because the shit costs about $1500.00 per month), I finally managed to get my prescription filled and took my first dose yesterday evening. When I was on Enbrel a couple of years ago, it was a twice-weekly dose and kind of a pain to take -- you had a vial full of the actual drug in powder form, and a syringe full of saline, which you had to inject into the vial, then wait about ten minutes for it to mix, then draw it all back into the syringe, and then inject it. They've streamlined the process since then -- it's now a once-weekly dose and it comes pre-mixed in a pre-filled syringe, so you just have to grab a syringe out of the fridge, wait for it to get to room temperature, and inject.

However, there are a couple of new issues with the pre-filled syringes, which the pharmacy nurse warned me about beforehand. First, for some reason, the needle is rather dull, so you really have to jab it pretty hard to get it to pierce your skin, which is a bit uncomfortable. Second, the Enbrel burns like fire as you inject it. When the nurse warned me about this, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, but damn. After I finally got the frigging needle into my skin and started to inject the meds, it burned so much that I uttered a stream of profanity til it was over -- "Motherfucker! Holy shit! OUCH!" For a few hours afterwards, the skin around the injection site, a couple inches in diameter, was hot, red, and itchy, which is also a normal side effect.

Okay, maybe I'm just a wimp, but I'm dreading having to do that once a week. Thank goodness it's no longer a twice-weekly dose.

Comfortably Numb

Your Theme Song is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

"There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves." You haven't been feeling a lot lately, and you think that's a good thing. The comfortable part is nice... but you should really work on numb.

What's Your Theme Song?

Catstein!

What Famous Leader Are You?
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