One more day...

Tomorrow is my boss's last day at work, and hence, mine as well. I think I've been in a bit of denial about the whole thing, because I haven't been actively searching for a new job. I have one potential lead through a friend of a friend that I'm hoping will result in an offer, but I know better than to put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak, and I really should have been looking for other opportunities over the past few weeks. Now that it's down to my last day, I'm really feeling anxious and a bit depressed.

The good news is that I do have an offer of a temporary position in the office of a very prominent attorney who is shorthanded right now and told me I could work for her while I look for something permanent. I haven't finalized anything with her since I was hoping something else would come through, but I suppose I will call her tomorrow and see if I can start next week. Working for her will be a very valuable experience due to both her credentials and her contacts.

Bummed as I am about having to start over in a new firm, I am trying to see this as a good thing. I've been in my current job for five and a half years, and while I've enjoyed it very much and have been very blessed to work for a couple of wonderful people who have been very good to me, it is probably time for me to move on to something new. I've probably learned all I can learn at my current job, so a change may be just what I need to grow in my career.

I've got all of my personal stuff at the office packed up and ready to load into my car tomorrow, and I've also got all loose ends tied up, so I'm feeling good about leaving on a positive note. My boss who is retiring took the time to tell me the other day how much he's appreciated the job I've done, and how bad he feels about his retirement meaning the end of my job (not that I think he has anything to feel guilty about -- the guy is going to be 75 this year; he can't work forever!). He offered to help in any way he can in my job search and to give me a glowing recommendation, as has the other attorney I work for, so that's a very good thing. I just have to trust that it will all work out for the best.

Eye update

I had my follow-up appointment with the eye surgeon today, and everything looks good. Apparently, any improvement in the eye pressure and the pigment dispersion will be very gradual, but so far, so good. I also scheduled the surgery for my left eye for July 18th. Now that I know what to expect, I'm not remotely nervous about that one. Whew!

Five Factor Personality Test

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

And in other news...

My parents and I drove up to Fort Worth last Wednesday for Glenn's funeral. I'm glad I was able to go and pay my respects. I also got to see my cousin Jeff, Glenn's son, who I hadn't seen in about 14 years. Jeff and Glenn were best friends, and it was really heartbreaking to see Jeff break down in sobs at the end of the funeral. He lost his mother to breast cancer when he was just 12 or 13, and now he's lost his father to cancer, as well. It was great to see him after all these years, but I sure wish it had been under happier circumstances.

Achilles is still doing very well. His surgery was three weeks ago today, so he has five weeks left of restricted activity.

I have been unable to find a copy of my old resume anywhere, so I've had to recreate it from scratch, which was a challenge. I think I finally have it just about ready -- I'll put the finishing touches on it tomorrow and then I can start sending it out. I have a couple of potential job leads through people I know, so hopefully one of those will work out. I really hate the thought of starting over at a new job, but I'm trying to view it as an opportunity. I have really enjoyed my current job, and couldn't have asked for better people to work for, but who knows? Maybe I'll find something that I enjoy even more.

Eye surgery

I had my scary, scary eye surgery today, and it really turned out to be no big deal at all. After sitting in the waiting room for an hour and a half, the surgery itself took less than five minutes. About an hour before the surgery, they put drops in my eyes to constrict my pupil (which gave me quite a headache) and right before the surgery they put in some numbing drops (despite which, I could still feel every pulse of the laser), and they put a bunch of goop on some sort of contact lens and stuck it in my eye.

Holding my eye still during the procedure was no problem at all, thank goodness. That's what I had been really worried about. I couldn't see the laser, so my eyes didn't start inadvertently darting around. After surgery, they took out the goopy contact lens, flushed my eye with saline, gave me a prescription for some eyedrops to use for a week to keep the irritation and swelling at bay, and sent me on my way.

My eye was very sore this afternoon, but I took a nap when I got home and it's feeling pretty normal now. I'm really glad that's over with! I still have to have the other eye done, but now that I know what to expect, I'm not worried about it any more. Whew!

I'm the expendable one.

Got some bad news today -- I am being laid off at the end of the month.

The law firm I work for is a small partnership. When I was hired there five and a half years ago, there were just two attorneys and I was the only employee. The firm took on a third partner a couple of years later, and he hired his own staff and several associate attorneys, while I remained the sole employee of the two senior partners. The way the partnership works, each attorney pays his own expenses, including the salaries of his staff, so the two attorneys I work for each pay half of my salary.

Well. The senior partner, who is in his seventies, is retiring at the end of the month. My other boss informed me of this today and told me that he cannot afford to pay my entire salary on his own, so I am out of a job at the end of the month. This didn't come as a total shock, because we'd talked about this before and he had warned me that he did not know if he'd be able to keep me on after my other boss retired. Still, it was a bit of a surprise when he gave me the official word today.

I've spent the evening considering my options. I could try to talk the third partner into giving me some work (his practice is constantly expanding) and paying half of my salary, but I'm not sure I want to do that. He practices criminal defense, mainly DWI defense, and it's not something I'm very interested in doing. Plus, while I like him as a person (he's really a very nice guy), he can be difficult to work for.

I could try to convince my remaining boss to keep me on part time and just continue paying me what he's already contributing to my salary. I don't think I could afford to live on a part-time salary; however it might be an option, if he's willing to do it, until I can find another full-time position.

I do have some pretty good contacts in the local legal community, so I am going to start putting out the word that I'm in the market for a new position. I've never had a problem finding a new job when I've wanted one. Both legal assistant positions I've had, I found in the newspaper classifieds, faxed a resume over, and had a job offer within days. However, that was before the onset of my RA. My current bosses, thank goodness, liked me enough by the time I started having health issues that they were willing to put up with giving me time off for doctor appointments, surgeries, etc., and they were also willing to put up with me when I started coming in later in the mornings because I just can't get up and moving early enough to get to the office by eight a.m. any more. Going into a new job with these issues won't be so easy, since they won't know me and won't know that even with my health problems, I am damn good at what I do and I make up time lost by skipping lunch, staying late, etc. Even though I have about two surgeries per year, I think I miss less time from work than most healthy people -- I almost never call in sick (less than once per year), and I always return to work after having surgery in less than a week.

I don't know how much to disclose while I'm interviewing -- if I tell them "Hey, I've got some health problems" right up front, I doubt anyone is going to hire me, but if I don't disclose that and then start needing time off to go to the doctor and have surgery, my ass might get fired in short order.

This really blows.

Well, at least I have a little bit of warning, so after Glenn's funeral on Wednesday, I'm going to start combing through the classifieds and sending out my resume. Wish me luck.

Achilles loves his crate!

I was initially afraid that keeping Achilles crated during his recovery was going to be a struggle, but he really does like it in there! I'm so glad that he's resting and not fighting it. Here he is, enjoying a cookie in his crate yesterday evening:



His recovery seems to be proceeding nicely. He is able to put some weight on the leg, but often opts to just hop around on three legs. The vet said that after three weeks, he should be putting weight on it most of the time, but he'll still be going easy on it for six to eight weeks. His incision looks great, and he has been a real trooper throughout this whole ordeal. This definitely has not been easy, but his attitude has made it go as smoothly as I could have hoped. Whew!

Meeting Baby Zach

Baby Zach and his mama were released from the hospital today, so I went to visit them at home this afternoon. Zach is SO tiny! I am always amazed, every time I hold a newborn, at how tiny they are. He was awake when I arrived, but that didn't last long -- he fell asleep while I was holding him and slept for the rest of the time I was there. Here are some pics:

Farewell, Uncle Glenn

My mom called me just a few minutes ago to tell me that Uncle Glenn died this morning. She and my dad had made it up to Fort Worth to visit him over Memorial Day weekend, so at least she got to see her brother one last time. I had lunch with my dad yesterday, and he told me that Glenn was very, very, shockingly ill when they went to see him -- he looked like a skeleton except for the fact that fluid was accumulating in his abdomen, which he had to have drained every couple of weeks. He was confined to a wheelchair because he lacked the energy to stand or walk, and it was even difficult for him to speak without losing his breath. In light of all of that, I'm glad that he is no longer suffering. May he rest in peace.

New nephew!

Born on Wednesday, June 7, 2006 at around 7:00 p.m.

7 lbs., 1 oz.

19 inches long



His name is Zachary. :)

No more conehead!

Achilles got his sutures out this morning and got to take off his giant plastic collar! Woohoo! This is especially great news because without the collar on, he fits beautifully into his crate with plenty of room to stand up and turn around, AND, he actually seems to like it in there! I put him in the crate after we got back from the vet, gave him a couple of chew toys and a couple of treats, and he settled right in and snuggled down on his blanket, happy as a clam.

Now that I can crate him with no worries, this means no more sleeping on the couch for me! THANK GOD! I didn't think I could take any more of that -- my back is killing me and I am utterly exhausted because I don't sleep well on the couch. I am going to sleep my ass off, in the comfort of my own bed, all weekend long.

Doggie knee surgery

Achilles had his knee surgery on Tuesday. The good news is that it went well and the surgeon is very pleased with how stable his knee feels now. The bad news is that they can do only one leg at a time, so he will have to go through this all over again in a few months. They did his right hind leg first, since it seemed to be worse than his left. He had to stay overnight at the animal hospital on Tuesday and came home Wednesday afternoon.

He's wearing one of those huge, plastic E-collars because he was trying to bite at his sutures while he was at the hospital. I think he's probably more miserable about the collar than about how much his leg hurts. He'll get his stitches out in about ten days, so he'll have to wear the collar until then, poor thing. He will have an eight-week recovery period during which his activity must be severely restricted -- no running, jumping, playing, or climbing stairs. No long walks or unsupervised outdoor time -- leash walks only, and only for elimination purposes. He has to be crated unless there is someone home to watch him.

His appetite is good, but he is really, really uncomfortable. He's been spending most of the time since he got home lying on a blanket on the living room floor. His leg is very swollen and obviously very painful, but he can put a little bit of weight on it.

I would much rather have gone through the surgery myself than seen him go through this. I just hate to see him so miserable, but I know it will be for the best once he's recuperated and his knee doesn't pop out of place any more. It's going to be a long eight weeks, though. Sigh.